Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize