I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
