I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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