i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
