wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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