there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
