...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
