I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
