When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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