So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
