I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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