just tell him i said nine months
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ladies don't puke and tell
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
