but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
