Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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