***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
