Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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