Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
