yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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