She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
