the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
