everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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