He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
