Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
