everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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