I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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