It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
