Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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