the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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