I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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