I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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