I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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