Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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