I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
