garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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