I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
