So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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