Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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