I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize