The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
