Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
