I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
