i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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