Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
