this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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