I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
