Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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