So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish you could order shots online.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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