Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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