R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
