plz talk dirty to me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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