go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
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