omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
