Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
