I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize