NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
