I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
