so explain again why im purple
no
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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