you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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