I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
