There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
