You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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