:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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