two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
