wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
