So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
