So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
