like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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