I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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