laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize