She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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